what if like, all horror movies were actually real and that the media is just trying to the hide the truth they’re not just “movies” so we wouldn’t believe that it IS in fact a real tape filled with real people and real stories?
One day, whether you
you will stumble upon
someone who will start
a fire in you that cannot die.
However, the saddest,
most awful truth
you will ever come to find––
is they are not always
with whom we spend our lives.
Recently, I’ve been trying so hard to distract myself from my own reality. I’ve hung out with guys I just met, fooled around with one of them, and started smoking when I promised I wouldn’t. Basically, I’ve engaged in things that the young version of me would never attempt in doing; nonetheless, I did. I guess pain changes you that way.
I met a ton of really interesting people recently. They showed me how to relax and have a good time, and they had me distracted when I was in a really bad moment. At the end of the day, though, I still felt the loneliness lingering. I could not fathom how I can go on living as if I’m chained by parents’ reprimands - how I could grow up being unable to take the risks I should have, and how I could possibly continue living with regrets.
So I guess I took a lot of risks when the year started, the time when I found myself on the ground and saw a person who was completely toyed with and broken. I couldn’t bare to see myself in that way any longer, so I wanted to take a leap of faith and just go with everything. I wanted to feel like I didn’t need people to like me or say good things about me. I wanted to be free.
And here I am.
Though I might not be sure where I stand now, but at least I’m trying to find the person I want to become, and not the person the people around me want to be. I just couldn’t let myself be in that situation where I could not find myself. I gave myself this opportunity to find out what “faith” or “love” really is for me. I don’t want to live in my society’s perception of those things, because then I would let them mold me into a person I barely know. But I guess that’s what mostly happens to people now
I think some company is overdue
I’ve started talking to the pictures on the walls!
But Mockingjays were never a weapon. They’re just songbirds.